Revealing Your Estate Plan to Family and Close Friends
If you are one of the 45% of Americans with an estate plan, congratulations. You are prepared for your death or disability by having the documents legally signed and ready to go.
You have taken the time and money to create a new estate plan so be sure you destroy your old ones, lest you create legal issues for heirs. | Credit: Getty/PeopleImages
Yet are you really prepared? Even people with those foundational documents often forget to share critical information. Some even forget to tell those they love that they have completed their documents, let alone who is named in the documents and what professionals to talk to after they pass.
Some even forget to tell those they love that they have completed their documents, let alone who is named in the documents and what professionals to talk to after they pass.
Thinking Beyond the Documents
Take these four steps to be sure your wishes are followed and your financial caregivers are up to speed.
1. Inform your designated executor, trustee and health care person. Ideally, you should do this before you sign the paperwork. If the papers are signed, it is still important to let them know. This is your support team. For you, it is critical to know if they are willing to act on your behalf when the time comes.
You do not have to go into a lot of details. Tell them the basics – what you want physically if they are your health care person. Who your doctors are and how to contact them. On the trustee and executor side, they need to know who you trust. Think financial advisors, legal team and tax accountant, along with how to contact them. For financial reasons, you may want them to know whether you have money to care for yourself or any extending circumstances. Both physically and financially, you want to talk about your wishes with your trusted team. Consider including them and the main beneficiaries during the final meeting with your lawyer.
2. Tell your family or beneficiaries they are named in your estate plan. No need to reveal details if you would rather not. For example, the amounts and specifics may change over time. Let them know your paperwork is in order and who you have selected to handle the details.
If your beneficiaries hear these details in your own words, they will be prepared for what happens when the legal or health care support team begins to work on your behalf. You may consider telling them why those people were chosen and/or include the beneficiaries in a meeting with your lawyer. With early introductions, people often work better together.
3. Follow up on the details for your estate plan. Now that the people side of the equation is in order, review the notes from your lawyer. Confirm you handled all the tasks on your list. For example, if you have a trust, did you fund it? Do you know what that means?
This involves changing the title on your investment accounts, bank accounts and real estate, like your home. They can help you do this or you can take the documents to your investment firm, bank and city hall to make it all happen.
If you do have a trust – whether revocable or irrevocable – if you do not do the above step, the trust documents may just become a useless piece of expensive paper.
Destroy your old wills and legal documents. If you have taken the time to replace them, do not leave them around.
If the lawyer drew up your medical power of attorney, they may have asked you to drop a copy off at your doctor's office and also give a copy to your medical power of attorney. If these people do not have the document, they will not be able to follow your instructions.
4. Destroy your old wills and legal documents. If you have taken the time to replace them, do not leave them around. You have taken the time and money to create a new estate plan so be sure you destroy your old ones, lest you create legal issues for heirs.
At 76, Aretha Franklin, the "Queen of Soul," died without a clearly valid will. Her estate was valued at $18 million. Instead of one proper will, three handwritten documents were found in her house. One will was found under the couch, while another was locked away. After her death, the family fought over which was valid. In 2023, five years after her death, the courts resolved the issue.
Meeting with a Lawyer
What if you have not met with a lawyer yet? Scheduling an appointment may take months. Make the appointment after researching local attorneys.
Then, think ahead before selecting the people you could count on for help and who would be good at the position. Many people pick family members, though you can have anyone named in your documents. The goal: the more prepared you are, the lower the bill. But do not think you need to have it all settled.
If you have yet to meet with a lawyer or draw up documents, skip the bargain. From Trust & Will to Legal Zoom to Suze Orman's will & trust kit, there are online resources. Many are free or low priced. Be aware of what you are getting and not getting.
Lawyers do this every day; they will have suggestions and possibilities you may have not even thought about, including contingencies or options for your estate.
There is a reason that lawyers spend three years in graduate school and then take a test in the state they are going to practice before being allowed to set up legal documents. Lawyers do this every day; they will have suggestions and possibilities you may have not even thought about, including contingencies or options for your estate. Technical requirements vary state to state, which is why it is invaluable to have the right advice.
And remember, what you are doing is building a relationship. This is not a transactional issue. When estate planning issues come up, you will have someone to reach out to. When the state or federal laws change, the lawyers will reach out to you. Most of all, your loved ones will have an expert to turn to when they are grieving.
Don't fall in line with some of these other rich and famous individuals:
Prince, the iconic singer, died at 57 and did not leave a will. As a result, settling his estate took six years.
Singer Bob Marley died without a will at 36. Four years previously, he had been diagnosed with terminal cancer. Yet, he chose not to write a will, leaving his wife and eleven children with legal issues.
In 1973, the artist Pablo Picasso died without a will. He was 91.
Even billionaire Howard Hughes died without a will. He was 70.
Estate planning doesn't guarantee smooth sailing after you are gone – or if you become incapacitated. However, it's important to take the step to create a written, valid estate plan. If you prepare your paperwork, your loved ones will be grateful for your final caring gesture to them.