What Should I Do With My Pet's Ashes?
Deciding what to do with the remains of your beloved cat or dog can be hard when you are grieving
One wall in my dining room contains a few hundred books. Two of the shelves, however, house my cats' ashes. They're stacked neatly in tins, and one is in a carved wooden box.
I no longer grieve over the loss. I do think of them and, of course, miss them. My current cat is almost 13. We adopted her when she was a kitten. She's not a replacement. Each cat was distinct and quite charming.
Memorializing your cherished companion is exceedingly personal, and the decision can be overwhelming during your time of grief and sorrow | Credit: Yerlin Matu
The three tins and one wooden box sometimes collect dust. I think about planting them in my garden; then I wonder, what if I move? Should I dig them up and take them with me?
Another friend told me she had her cats cremated and left instructions with family to place those remains in with her ashes.
I'm a person with practically no attachments to things. Yet, these remains were once living companions. I'm definitely attached to my cat. Actually, my husband jokes that my pecking order in our house is: "Cat, kid, and him."
I questioned a few friends about what they did with their pet's remains. One scattered her dog's ashes in his favorite place at the park. When she walks by, she says, "hello."
Another friend told me she had her cats cremated and left instructions with family to place those remains in with her ashes.
A Tough Decision
"Goodbye is always hard," said Bethany Hsia, DVM and co-founder of CodaPet, a startup supporting a network of veterinarians serving pet and pet parents with end-of-life pet care at home. "Our pets are usually our biggest fans and give so much love. The bond we share with our pets is so strong and beautiful and that bond is altered when we lose a pet."
"Memorializing your cherished companion is exceedingly personal, but the decision may overwhelm you during your time of grief and sorrow."
She added, "Understandably, it's hard to decide how best to shape that bond without losing it completely. Our pets live in the moment and don't worry about how they will be honored or what will happen to their bodies once they pass; this can be a freeing thought as it allows the bereaved to choose what will help them to heal best."
A Personal Choice
Despite many options, it's not easy figuring out what to do with your pet's remains. "Memorializing your cherished companion is exceedingly personal, but the decision may overwhelm you during your time of grief and sorrow," said Dani McVety, DVM and founder of Lap of Love Veterinary Hospice, a nationwide practice of mobile veterinarians offering in-home hospice and euthanasia services across 39 states.
A few options she suggests include creating a keychain or piece of jewelry from your pet's ashes or fur. "It's an excellent way to keep them close," she said. "A small amount of your pet's ashes or a fur clipping can be mixed into a gorgeous necklace pendant, ring, pair of earrings or keychain, allowing you to keep part of your pet with you at all times."
My choice to keep my cats' ashes in my home is common. According to Kathryn Dench, VetMB and chief scientific advisor at Paw Origins, approximately 40% of pet owners choose to keep their pet's ashes with them at home, while around 20% opt for scattering. "The rest look for unique, personalized ways to memorialize their pets to honor the love they shared," she said.
Commission an artist to paint a portrait of your dog or cat and include a small amount of your pet's ashes into the painting.
A few more suggestions include:
Burying your pet’s ashes and using a biodegradable urn that merges with the earth over time. You can plant flowers, a tree, or a plant where you can take a cutting if you move.
Commission an artist to paint a portrait of your dog or cat and include a small amount of your pet’s ashes into the painting. You can also have an artist create a sculpture for your home or garden. The sculpture can house some of your pet’s ashes.
A handful of companies can turn your dog’s or cat’s ashes into smooth stones to either place in your garden or in your home.
Some pet parents scatter their pets’ ashes into the ocean. One company, called Eternal Reefs, mixes your pet’s ashes into environmentally safe materials to form an artificial reef, which is placed in the ocean. These reefs support marine life.
Make a donation in your pet’s name to your favorite animal shelter or veterinary school.
Donate your pet’s leashes, collars, bedding and toys if they are in good condition. Many animal shelters will welcome receiving them.
Ask your family veterinarian if the practice has an “angel fund” that helps cover treatment costs for sick pets, and consider contributing.
As for me, I have a stained glass stone a family member gave me. It's designed for placement in my garden. I think I'll bury my pet's ashes in the garden near the stone. I'll keep them in their tins and wooden box, just in case I decide to move.
