Sorry, Your Kids Don't Want Your Stuff or Your Parents' Stuff
Millennials are getting stuck inheriting collections and they’re not having it
There are 10 overstuffed boxes in the living room of Nick Fox and his wife Sarah. It's not that the Millennial couple haven't unpacked their central Florida house. The boxes contain collections from Sarah's grandmother Nani who died in 2018 and, Nick says, had a shopping addiction.
Most Millennials would definitely say 'pass' to an antique doll collection. | Credit: Getty
"She shoved all this stuff into a closet, forgot about it and then sadly passed," notes Nick, 40, a Westwood One radio host and music scheduler. "Sarah's mom, Liz, is a boomer who has been going through and triaging a huge amount of the stuff. We've gotten some of it because we said 'yes' to it and other stuff because Liz is just trying to get rid of it."
The Baby Boom Stuff Avalanche
Never mind the estimated $27 trillion to $46 trillion in assets that Millennials (aged 29 to 44) may inherit from their boomer parents and Silent Generation grandparents in the Great Wealth Transfer. This is what's been dubbed "The Great Stuff Transfer" and "The Baby Boom Stuff Avalanche."
It's about Oneida plates, Longaberger baskets, Hummel figurines, Dansk kitchenware, Pez dispensers, Beanie Babies and other tchotchkes the Millennials are getting, often not by choice. And it's a certifiable trend described in recent Business Insider and Bloomberg Businessweek articles.
Fox calls himself "the accidental spokesperson for the emotionally overwhelmed children of baby boomers everywhere."
Fox's funny "The Millennial Inheritance" video series has struck a nerve, too. He has 130,000 followers on Instagram and 30,000 on TikTok — all of his followers watch him exasperatingly talk about the stuff he and fellow members of his community have found themselves living amid.
An Armoire of 'Lord of the Rings' Goblets
He invites fellow members of The Millennial Inheritance Community to send him videos and photos of the oddball collections they've inherited. And they have, including one who sent a video showing their armoire filled with 20 Lord of the Rings goblets.
"This is content that really is resonating with people who are gravitating towards the feeling of needing therapy for being shouldered with all the stuff they inherit," Fox says. "The result of feeling overwhelmed is anxiety that already permeates for this generation."
Fox calls himself "the accidental spokesperson for the emotionally overwhelmed children of baby boomers everywhere."
How I Can Relate
While I'm one of those boomers, I can also relate — in two ways.
The story about the situation that boomers like us were experiencing quickly garnered more than 1.5 million views, 32,000 Facebook shares and 5,500 comments and was printed over 3,100 times.
In 2017, I wrote what became a viral Next Avenue article called "Sorry, Nobody Wants Your Parents' Stuff" when my father died and my sister and I found ourselves unable to locate places or people who wanted the items that had belonged to him and our late mother. The story about the situation that boomers like us were experiencing quickly garnered more than 1.5 million views, 32,000 Facebook shares and 5,500 comments and was printed over 3,100 times.
These days, my wife and I are downsizing our suburban New Jersey home for an eventual move to Los Angeles, where our Millennial sons live. So, we're doing whatever we can to prevent our adult kids from being forced to take things of ours or from our parents that don't interest them due to style or their already packed living space.
What 'The Estate Lady' Learned
Julie Hall, a Gen Xer who calls herself The Estate Lady, has seen Millennials' stuff-suffering personally, too.
During her own downsizing, the author of "Inheriting Clutter and The Boomer Burden: Dealing With Your Parents' Lifetime Accumulation of Stuff," asked her 29-year-old daughter which items she'd want to receive.
"They want Pottery Barn, Ikea and Crate and Barrel. There's nothing wrong with that; it's their style."
"I said, 'Tell me what you want in this house' and she goes, 'Well, mom, I just kind of want your jewelry,'" Hall recalls. "I got defensive and said, 'But we have great stuff.' And you know what she said to me? She said, 'Great to you, mom.' And I was like, 'Ouch!'"
But, Hall says, "that gave me permission to let go."
Boomers need to understand, Hall adds, that Millennials often don't want things they have, like painted China. "They want Pottery Barn, Ikea and Crate and Barrel," says Hall. "There's nothing wrong with that; it's their style."
Are Millennials Ungrateful?
Some people commenting on the Millennial Inheritance videos, however, think Fox and others of his generation are ungrateful about items getting passed down to them — or perhaps thrown down at them.
"It's not about being ungrateful," Fox says in one of his videos. "It's about being exhausted emotionally, physically and manually from managing generations of other people's stuff. When someone comments, 'be grateful," I want to ask: 'How many boxes of somebody else's memories do you have space for in your house? How much time do you want to spend sorting through things you never asked for?"
His critics maintain that Millennials should be appreciative of their parents putting things aside for them. "But that's often not what's happening," Fox says. "What I'm seeing is people who had a whole bunch of stuff in their garage and felt 'We'll get to it when get to it.' And I'm seeing people with collections of Carnival glass or Hummels whose Millennial children are essentially saying 'Why am I being saddled with your collection?'"
His blunt response: "How long do you want me to grieve for you when you die? Because going through your belongings really cuts that short. There's a lot of pain and anguish and 'Why did you do this to me?'"
He thinks Millennials are shouldering the responsibility of "making bold choices for someone else's belongings."
Advice for Boomer Parents
Fox has a few pieces of advice for boomers to help reduce sloughing off stuff and keep their Millennial kids from becoming resentful, irritated or worse.
"How long do you want me to grieve for you when you die? Because going through your belongings really cuts that short."
Try Swedish Death Cleaning, Fox advises. That means getting rid of things your family won't want to take or find homes for after you die. "It's essentially the idea that you've enjoyed your collection of toy trains in your basement for long enough. Purge them now, while you're alive, so you can ensure they go to somebody as passionate about them as you are."
Also, he says, hold frank conversations with your adult kids to learn which items you have and don't need that they would want, if any. Some boomers have told Fox his videos have inspired them to go through their stuff and communicate with their kids. "They say, 'Now I see that your generation really doesn't want my 15 ballerinas in a glass case' or whatever," Fox says.
That's the message he hopes boomers will receive from his online jabs. Millennials recognize that boomers are also dealing with inheriting their parents' stuff, Fox notes. "So let's go through it now together," he advises.
Once you find out which items your adult kids don't want, Fox says, look for ways to give away or sell them. You may discover certain pieces you own have great value to other collectors.
Fox learned that while making his videos. "I didn't realize that Uranium glass was as sought after as it was," he says. Some high-end vintage Uranium glassware sells for $1,000 to $4,000.
HGTV just launched a TV series called "Junk or Jackpot?" where interior designer Bobby Berk helps collectors discover the monetary value of the collections overtaking their homes.
What Millennials Need to Do
Millennials are beginning to face the challenge of having too much of their own stuff. A recent Business Insider story noted that some have been using their parents' homes as storage units.
Fox's advice to his generation: Start decluttering or prepare to be on the other side of the stuff equation.
"I've been joking on social media that Gen Z and Gen Alpha are going to know what it's like to have 10 versions of Taylor Swift albums and Labubu and Funko Pops," he says.
